Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Deconstruction

It's been a while since I took stock of my surroundings. I have been sleeping long hours. Does that mean I have been peaceful? Not really, I have been more lost than ever before. I have been occupied with meaningless thoughts and races. I came here to discover the unknown me but here I am, all shattered! I thought I would get back on the stage while at school. But it did not happen. It's strange, now I am not so sure if I am the one who is meant to be on the stage.Well, there are lot of things that I want, but I might not be willing to take the pain to go and get it!

There is this constant fear, I cannot understand what is it? Why do I have tears in my eyes at this moment, wish I could go deep inside my mind and figure out some answers. 

I had thought I would use my time at B-School to retrospect and understand myself. But that has not topped my to do list yet. I just want to stop! I don't know where I have come, it's a puzzle how I reached here. It feels like I don't belong here. If not here, where do I go? 

I overheard that the ones who suffer the most are the ones who do not know what they want. Hope it is not true always!